There Goes Me, But For The Grace Of God
by Mr. Chaos
Summary: Booth and Temperance are together, and take the time to enjoy being a couple by watching their favorite TV show. But while it might be all humor and fun, a thin layer of angst exists for those of us that understand the true story. Part of the ABCverse


Author's Note: The following story takes place between 12:00:00 pm and 01:00:00 pm.

Just kidding.

No, this story takes place between the events of "The Three Deaths of the Theater Dandy" and "The Scientist in the Manga". It is something I decided to write while I wait for Sarah (Darkly Dreaming) to finish the next chapter of our story, and while I puzzled through the next chapter of my novel.

For those that have never read any of my stories, in "The Three Deaths" Temperance and Booth FINALLY admitted they loved each other, and by "Scientist", they are dating.

The following is them doing something coupley, while I also slam the creators of BONES for not bringing me in to fix the mess they've made of things.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

"Booth, it's starting!"

Seeley Booth hurried over to the couch, where is partner/friend/newly minted girlfriend Temperance Brennan was seated, curled up with a soda in her hand. Booth placed the popcorn bowl down on the coffee table before he cracked open his beer, the familiar theme music washing over them.

When they had finally made the jump from friends to…something more…there had been that strange and wonderful period where they learned about each other. Oh, Temperance and Booth thought they knew everything about each other, and that there was little left to uncover. Temperance knew already about Booth owning all of the Dinotopia books (he could claim they were for Parker, but she knew the truth), and Booth had accepted that his girlfriend slept with a stuffed Optimus Prime doll (and called out Starscream's name in her sleep…in a way that Booth really didn't want to dwell on).

But there were other things, things neither of them knew about each other…things that neither of them even considered needing to TELL the other one about. Things that chip away at the mental image you build up for a person, but also allow you to see them in a more human light.

Like when Temperance had walked in on Booth and found him singing "Purple Rain", shaving cream giving him an amish beard. Or the time they had gotten Mexican food and Booth had heard Temperance make sounds in the bathroom Booth hadn't heard grown MEN make before.

But the biggest surprise was that each of them were, as they had learned, massive fans of "Scalpel".

"Do you have the message board ready?" Temperance asked.

"All set!" Booth exclaimed, rubbing his hands together, humming along to the techno theme that made up the "Scalpel" theme song. "You have the TIVO going, right?"

"Of course," Temperance replied, "you think I'd forget?"

It was an understatement to say that Booth and Temperance were fans of Scalpel. The term fanboy and fangirl were more appropriate. They visited the chat rooms, listened to the unofficial podcasts, had reviewed and ranted about the fan fics...

"I hear they are making action figures of them," Temperance said.

"Oh my God, we need them," Booth exclaimed.

They fell silent as the show began, allowing themselves to become enchanted by the world of Scalpel. From the moment when the mutilated remains were found by FBI Special Agent Lawrence Stall and his partner, Smithsonian anthropologist Dr. Constance 'Scalpel' Sloan, the two were lost to the world. At that moment, Parker could have run in and told them that Shockwave was attacking the city, and all he would have gotten was a 'that's nice'.

Of course, this being Booth and Temperance, they couldn't totally lose themselves to the fantasy. Their minds were working overtime, screaming at how it would be impossible to build a case the way Sloan and Stall did, how the writers managed to screw up time and again how the FBI really solved cases. But that was the fun of the show, for them.

And they didn't tune in for the murder mystery.

"Can you believe the way she handled that femur?" Temperance asked, setting her soda down.

"Total amateur," Booth muttered, reaching over and grasping Temperance's ankles. He slid them into his lap, removing her socks and pressing his thumbs into her soles. "But did you see the way she was looking at him in that last scene?"

Temperance nodded. "She is regretting her decision in Episode 100, I can tell you that much." She was referring to the 100th episode, where Sloan had told her partner she could not become involved with him, as she could not allow herself to risk her heart that way. "I just don't understand how she can be so thickheaded!"

Booth nodded. "What do you think about her intern going on that dig in the Pacific?"

Temperance shrugged. "Good for her. Gets the annoying little girl out of the show and makes more room for the more interesting interns."

The show came back on and the two grew quiet, the only sound other than the TV being the occasional sigh when Booth managed to hit a tender spot on her soles.

But as the season finale dragged on, both found themselves unable to stay quiet any more.

"You have got to be kidding me!" Booth exclaimed. "Why the hell would Pauly tell his father he WANTS him to go back into the Navy?" Booth shook his head. "You know how many times Parker has thanked me for not reenlisting? His friend Bobby's dad, he got called up, and Parker saw how bad Bobby took it."

Temperance nodded. "And his logic is flawed. Yes, Stall might be able to train soldiers, but those soldiers knew they were risking their lives. Stall, every day, saves innocents."

"Not according to Sloan, they don't," Booth muttered. "Why are they only focusing on the one time murderers? How many serial killers have those two put away?"

Temperance glared at the screen as yet another character enabled Sloan to avoid focusing on the issue at hand. "Why do they work with these people when they clearly allow them to continue with their dysfunctional actions? It is no different than a family member helping a brother or sister who is a drug addict find a new way to get high." Temperance grimaced. "Ow! Booth, easy there!"

Booth, realizing he had been fantasizing about wringing Sloan and Stall's shrink's (Dr. Candi Hart) neck, and had been using Temperance's right foot as a stand in, let go, giving her a bashful smile. "Sorry," he said, giving her big toe a quick kiss. "All better?"

"Much."

As the show came to towards the final 3 minutes, they each their breath. Sloan had decided to go on the dig, while Stall had reenlisted. But both knew there was still time…still time for their favorite characters to realize what brainless cowards they were and just freaking kiss already!

Instead…they got promises of meeting up in a year and having things go back to the status quo.

Temperance threw her socks at the TV in disgust.

"That Sloan is the most unbending, unreasonable woman on the planet!"

Booth nodded. "And if Stall grew a set and actually stood up for himself, maybe then he could actually get Sloan to notice him."

Temperance had already grabbed the laptop and was furiously typing away. "I am writing my review up right now…"

"Put my screen name at the end of that too!" Booth called out, collecting the popcorn bowl and cans and taking them back to his kitchen.

"Angela just IMed me…she's bragging about how at least Demona and Porkins got back together."

Booth sighed. "I guess that is a good thing…" He shook his head. "Seriously, this show has gone so far down hill. First they sent Billy to Africa, forcing the interns on us, then Demona and Porkins broke up…I swear, I am giving them one more season, two tops, to get things right!"

Temperance nodded in agreement, ready to speak, but interrupted by another ping. "Kevin just IMed me. Said that if we are still mad we should read this fan fic by Darkly Dreaming called "The Detectives in the Xover". Apparently, it has Scalpel meeting the cast of "Towers"…"

Booth frowned., walking over to her and closing the laptop. "We can look tomorrow…lets hit the hay." He moved towards the bedroom, already stripping of his shirt. "Why is it that a bunch of 20 year old amateur writers can create a more fulfilling ending then the creators of the show?"

Temperance shook her head as she unclasped her bra, before sliding out of her pants. "Who knows? For the same reason they are able to make things steamier than the show ever will." Slipping her nude form under the sheets, Temperance cuddled up close to Booth's equally nude frame. "But lets not focus on the show for the moment, ok?" She traced her nail down his chest. "I have other things to focus on."

~*~*~*~*~

In another place, Kevin Allen (otherwise known as the brilliant; handsome; currently available and looking for a girlfriend, ladies, wink wink; writer known as Mr. Chaos) shook his head before letting out a sigh, looking at the fan fiction he was reading.

"Its fun to imagine…isn't it. It's fun to imagine…"

~*~*~*~*~

The End


End file.
